Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

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gottatalktothefake
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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

Post by gottatalktothefake »

Fuck it, I need to get this off my chest.

My life has been falling apart since the August of 2016. I fell into a deep depression for about a year at that point. While this was going on my father decided to kick me while I was down, and instead of helping me he made sure to scream insults at me whenever he could. Ultimately the episode culminated with me going to a mental hospital after a suicide attempt. When I was there I finally explained the abuse my father was putting me through (which didn’t start the depression, but sure as hell made it worse) to my mother. She visited me again later saying that my father denied everything (and he still does to this day, I’ve never gotten an apology from him). My mother says he has a deep rooted dissociative disorder, so he doesn’t even think he did it and that I’m lying.

After the episode finally ended, shit just kept getting worse. My aunt whom I was close to overdosed on heroin and died, my uncle whom was also a huge dork like I am and was pretty much my best friend in the family turned out to have possessed and distributed child pornography. That pretty much destroyed all of the good memories I have about him.

The rest of my family is a shell of its former self, my father is even more of a raging asshole than before, my mother has been going through her own episode so when she’s not working she’s either sleeping or watching some series on Netflix and ignoring us. My brother is 13 but acts like a 7 year old because of how sheltered and babied he has been his entire life. He doesn’t know how to cook anything, for his shoes or even what order the months are in, can’t stay home alone for any extended period of time, and these are just a few examples. He doesn’t have any disorders, he’s just been babied so hard he doesn’t know anything. I was staying home alone and cooking for myself when I was 9.

And shit, he almost failed the 6th grade, and my mother called it “cute” that he can’t pay attention or do his work. If I got anything less than an A in school I’d be punished. Hell, I do get straight A’s in college and my mother is disappointed that I don’t get A+’s. The blatant differences between how I was raised and the pampering my brother gets is insane.

My parents are probably going to get divorced soon due to my fathers abuse. But for some reason I don’t want it to happen, I hate my father, he’s a loud mouthed, disgusting asshole, but I don’t want him to be gone for some reason. Probably because I’d have to take care of my brother because my mother is too depressed to do anything ever.

So that’s my story, shit is fucked.
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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

Post by Voyager »

I may always seem cheery and happy but I’m here to confess.

I’ve had a rough history with depression, having to put up with favouritism (relating to sexism), neglect from the school, and much more. I just want out, I really do. I’m sick of having to put up with this pile of shit stacked on my back. What made things worse was when one of my close friends attempted suicide earlier this year, when my dog has been in two near death experiences, and getting beaten up by some randoms off the street.

I’m just done. My depression has crushed me.
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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

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VoyagerGoji wrote:I may always seem cheery and happy but I’m here to confess.

I’ve had a rough history with depression, having to put up with favouritism (relating to sexism), neglect from the school, and much more. I just want out, I really do. I’m sick of having to put up with this pile of poop stacked on my back. What made things worse was when one of my close friends attempted suicide earlier this year, when my dog has been in two near death experiences, and getting beaten up by some randoms off the street.

I’m just done. My depression has crushed me.
Based on the fact that you have a seemingly stable job, and a good one (for your age) means that in the future, employment will be easier. Paying for college, or whatever you intend to do will be easier. Then You'll be free financially. So fuck favoritism. Soon you'll be on your own and that's fun.
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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

Post by Gigantis »

VoyagerGoji wrote:I may always seem cheery and happy but I’m here to confess.

I’ve had a rough history with depression, having to put up with favouritism (relating to sexism), neglect from the school, and much more. I just want out, I really do. I’m sick of having to put up with this pile of poop stacked on my back. What made things worse was when one of my close friends attempted suicide earlier this year, when my dog has been in two near death experiences, and getting beaten up by some randoms off the street.

I’m just done. My depression has crushed me.
I know this sounds really off putting but i'm really glad you're not the only one whose had to deal with school neglect. Ever since i was in first grade my school somehow simultaneously praised me for my intellect, yet didn't care about my disorders at all. Everytime my family told them to do what's best for me, they would just go out and do what they thought was best, which really wasn't the best thing in the skreoonking slightest. So chin up a bit, don't let those dooshbags get you down. :)

More on my end of things, while i haven't suffered from depression, the months of me going up to this year of College gave me my greatest struggle of anxiety, mostly because of COVID cases here in the U.S. Thankfully, seems my place got things under control, but i still think a shutdown is gonna happen sometime in the future. Least i can say it wasn't immediate.
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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

Post by Voyager »

LSD Jellyfish wrote: Based on the fact that you have a seemingly stable job, and a good one (for your age) means that in the future, employment will be easier. Paying for college, or whatever you intend to do will be easier. Then You'll be free financially. So fuck favoritism. Soon you'll be on your own and that's fun.
Thanks, I appreciate it. Not to mention I have a loving girlfriend.

Added in 38 seconds:
Gigantis wrote:
I know this sounds really off putting but i'm really glad you're not the only one whose had to deal with school neglect. Ever since i was in first grade my school somehow simultaneously praised me for my intellect, yet didn't care about my disorders at all. Everytime my family told them to do what's best for me, they would just go out and do what they thought was best, which really wasn't the best thing in the skreoonking slightest. So chin up a bit, don't let those dooshbags get you down. :)
Thanks, it means a lot!
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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

Post by GodzillaFan1990's »

Been feeling like this for a bit now. There are actually days where I feel like this too where I feel I don't want to live anymore and wonder if my love for my family is artificial because that's how I feel sometimes even though I actually do love them. I'm even wondering if this love is me trying to make up for everything I did to them in the past even though I should focus on the now and leave the past behind.

This is why once things settle down with COVID, I'm probably gonna be seeing my therapist again.

Sometimes I honestly worry about my future...

Then again this could be because of the state the world is in now with the pandemic so cabin fever could be setting in for me. I'm certain Summer will be better because then I'll be outside more rather than being inside most of the time.

Added in 14 minutes 58 seconds:
But despite my troubles I'm having right now. I'm strong and I know that I truly do love my family and my friends.

Life alone is always a challenge and they're never going to end. Despite how one might feel you just have to keep living life as it is. Life is one of the most valuable gifts the universe has given us. Cherish it as long as you can.
Last edited by GodzillaFan1990's on Mon Dec 28, 2020 9:32 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

Post by Xx_The_Masquerade_xX »

I live with anger and regret, for many years it became extremely self destructive both on a physical and mental level.

People say let the past go, things happen, but everyone handles things differently and what has happened is unforgivable an has drastically altered my entire life since. The worst was all during a specific time period where it hit hardest and I doubt I will ever fully recover. Sure I could talk to someone but honestly I doubt they can help and I don't trust them enough to go into detail about what's happened.

I've had zero family support, friends I actually opened up to just say ''sorry'' or leave like it wasn't a big deal for me to finally open up to someone. At this point I have pushed everyone away and I accept all I have is myself. I feel paranoid when I leave my apartment like everyone is watching me or saying stuff about me under there breath, I also feel I have lost the ability to truly enjoy anything at least for a long period because I either feel something bad will happen or its a cruel joke.

It's just one of many effects of PTSD that I have to live with. I wish I could say I miss the day's when I used to wake up and feel blessed to be alive but its been so long I have forgotten what that feels like.

Not sure if anyone can relate just I just thought I would share what I could.
Last edited by Xx_The_Masquerade_xX on Tue Dec 29, 2020 2:43 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

Post by H-Man »

I suffer from anxiety and I take Escitalopram oxalate (in the States, it would be Lexapro or something) to control it.

I also have insomnia problems, the occasional hypnopompic hallucinations, and sleep issues in general.

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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

Post by shadowgigan »

Hoping everyone in this thread has a great day! Know that you're not alone and you can always reach out to me if you want to or feel like you have nobody else to talk to! I've dealt with some of these issues but seemed to have moved past them for the most part. Not sure if my advice would be any good but if anyone needs it I'm all ears!

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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

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shadowgigan wrote: Wed Dec 30, 2020 10:12 am Hoping everyone in this thread has a great day! Know that you're not alone and you can always reach out to me if you want to or feel like you have nobody else to talk to! I've dealt with some of these issues but seemed to have moved past them for the most part. Not sure if my advice would be any good but if anyone needs it I'm all ears!
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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

Post by Voyager »

Just a little update for you guys.

Ever since September I've been seeking help and it's help me come a long way. I feel a lot less depressed and definitely much better. The good thing is, this year I turn 18, which means I'm going to be independent soon. I've got a good job, which already makes me a good amount of money, so I'm really optimistic.

Thanks all of you guys here on TK. You've helped me a ton with my self-esteem and I could never thank you enough for it. I just love that I'm truly appreciated here by you guys!

Love you all <3
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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

Post by eabaker »

VoyagerGoji wrote: Tue Jan 05, 2021 7:03 pm Just a little update for you guys.

Ever since September I've been seeking help and it's help me come a long way. I feel a lot less depressed and definitely much better. The good thing is, this year I turn 18, which means I'm going to be independent soon. I've got a good job, which already makes me a good amount of money, so I'm really optimistic.

Thanks all of you guys here on TK. You've helped me a ton with my self-esteem and I could never thank you enough for it. I just love that I'm truly appreciated here by you guys!

Love you all <3
Glad to hear that things are going so well for you!
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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

Post by Xx_The_Masquerade_xX »

VoyagerGoji wrote: Tue Jan 05, 2021 7:03 pm Just a little update for you guys.

Ever since September I've been seeking help and it's help me come a long way. I feel a lot less depressed and definitely much better. The good thing is, this year I turn 18, which means I'm going to be independent soon. I've got a good job, which already makes me a good amount of money, so I'm really optimistic.

Thanks all of you guys here on TK. You've helped me a ton with my self-esteem and I could never thank you enough for it. I just love that I'm truly appreciated here by you guys!

Love you all <3
Congratulations! That's great to hear man, hopefully things continue to go in a positive light for you.

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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

Post by shadowgigan »

How does one account for a moral failing? I admit this isn't something I have much experience with; that being taking accountability. Any advice?

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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

Post by GojiDog »

I gave up treating my depression because nothing seemed to work, and I didn't like what the pills were doing to me (I was too lethargic after taking them).
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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

Post by Xx_The_Masquerade_xX »

shadowgigan wrote: Thu Jan 07, 2021 12:40 pm How does one account for a moral failing? I admit this isn't something I have much experience with; that being taking accountability. Any advice?
Is this something you are experiencing or just a random question?
GojiDog wrote: Thu Jan 07, 2021 2:09 pm I gave up treating my depression because nothing seemed to work, and I didn't like what the pills were doing to me (I was too lethargic after taking them).
May I ask how your planning to go about handling your depression going forward?

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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

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XxComablack1937xX wrote: Fri Jan 08, 2021 6:54 am
GojiDog wrote: Thu Jan 07, 2021 2:09 pm I gave up treating my depression because nothing seemed to work, and I didn't like what the pills were doing to me (I was too lethargic after taking them).
May I ask how your planning to go about handling your depression going forward?
Right now, not at all.

We'll see how it goes.
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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

Post by Maritonic »

GojiDog wrote: Fri Jan 08, 2021 7:52 am
XxComablack1937xX wrote: Fri Jan 08, 2021 6:54 am
GojiDog wrote: Thu Jan 07, 2021 2:09 pm I gave up treating my depression because nothing seemed to work, and I didn't like what the pills were doing to me (I was too lethargic after taking them).
May I ask how your planning to go about handling your depression going forward?
Right now, not at all.

We'll see how it goes.
There are other ways of coping with depression that aren't pills. Therapy in general can be, well... therapeutic. It can take a lot of time to find the right doctor, or the right medication, or whatever it is that works for you.

Lately CBD oil has been working WONDERS for me. But 2020 was what 2020 was and I'm seeing another therapist. But, don't give up. Just keep looking until you find what works
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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

Post by Xx_The_Masquerade_xX »

GojiDog wrote: Fri Jan 08, 2021 7:52 am Right now, not at all.

We'll see how it goes.
One suggestion would be to always keep busy if it'd be working, exercising, or just listening to music imagining your somewhere else. I find these help me best in my most difficult times. Of course you can always reach out to speak with someone but that would require a lot of time and effort to find someone your comfortable with.

Hopefully it goes well, if it doesn't we are here and you have my full support.

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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

Post by GojiDog »

I appreciate the concern and kind words.

Personally, I feel that because of COVID, seeing therapists and getting medication is not something I can do safely, so I've thought it best to stay as isolated as possible.

I haven't noticed any negative effects of non-treatment yet.
Last edited by GojiDog on Fri Jan 08, 2021 8:40 am, edited 1 time in total.
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