U-Turn by LSD Jellyfish

[LSD Jellyfish]

Hello everyone.

This I a short story I wrote and submitted to a few publications. While rejected by them, I think many of you can enjoy this story for some things in it. It's not technically fan fiction, there's some things near the end that I think a lot of you will love.

Here it is, should be a pdf:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1jYcxPE ... sp=sharing

FYI: I've gotten rejected by magazines on this. So if you want to say, "LSD Jellyfish, this is shit!", it's okay. For this topic, any criticism is fine. I won't get mad or really feel bad about it. I just thought a few of you might enjoy it, and I don't think this will be ever published, so cheers.

I hope you enjoy it. Thanks!

[MechaGoji Bro7503]

Gonna check this out soon!!!

[Jomei]

Right now it says it's in your trash...?

Don't give up on publishing, though!

[LSD Jellyfish]

Right now it says it's in your trash...?

Don't give up on publishing, though!

It has been fixed! Please read it!

I moved it to the trash temporarily for some silly reasons, not a indicator of quality. When I created this subforum and moved the topic here I forgot to remove it from there.

[LegendZilla]

Could you try summarizing what this story is about?

[Mothra_Virgo]

Hey there!

I just finished U-Turn. Good stuff! I enjoyed it. I thought it had a great central relationship. I liked the cheating reveal. It was also nice to read a properly formatted story. I think the best bit was the atmosphere. The understated romance, snow, and the late night energy was really good. Oh also I thought the bio-meat angle was neat. The wildlife photography was cool too. The connection between the wolf photos and the wolf head on the creature was nice too. I actually think you could have built on that.

Feedback wise I think you could have introduced a little more conflict in the first half. Then I think the atmosphere you built is asking for a little more poetry in the vocabulary if you know what I mean? Like the rhythm of the piece could have been a bit tightened up.

Where did you submit to?

Anyway, great work. Keep writing!

[LSD Jellyfish]

Hey there!

I just finished U-Turn. Good stuff! I enjoyed it. I thought it had a great central relationship. I liked the cheating reveal. It was also nice to read a properly formatted story. I think the best bit was the atmosphere. The understated romance, snow, and the late night energy was really good. Oh also I thought the bio-meat angle was neat. The wildlife photography was cool too. The connection between the wolf photos and the wolf head on the creature was nice too. I actually think you could have built on that.

Feedback wise I think you could have introduced a little more conflict in the first half. Then I think the atmosphere you built is asking for a little more poetry in the vocabulary if you know what I mean? Like the rhythm of the piece could have been a bit tightened up.

Where did you submit to?

Anyway, great work. Keep writing!

Thank you for your kind words. Thank you for taking the time to read it.

I'm glad what I was building towards worked as a reveal and I sort of liked the idea of a monster as a metaphor for a bad relationship, or sort of walking into something that may be messy.

I agree with your feedback, the first part, up until the reveal was sort of a slowburn and atmospheric, but I get that someone reading it, looking for monster action might fall off it because it takes a bit to get there. It was a bit difficult linking things together but I think I did OK.

I submitted it to the Dark and some other places. When I have free time, busy at work, busy at home, busy doing other things, I write a lot of short stories and submit them. No luck yet, but working towards things.

Added in 29 seconds:

Could you try summarizing what this story is about?

How about you read it, write a summary of it, and then I'll reward you somehow.

[Mothra_Virgo]

You and me both my friend! I felt really hopeful this time as well. Fingers crossed next time's the charm for both of us!

You working on anything new?