Worst Alternate Cuts

[EvaGhidorah01]

What is the worst alternate cut of a Kaiju/Tokusatsu movie you have seen?

I'm sure everyone here is familiar with alternate cuts of movies. Whether it's a director's cut, special edition, tv-edit, etc. More than likely, we've all probably seen some in our lifetimes. Godzilla is infamous for having various alternate cuts of the various movies. The very first film has its American cut 'Godzilla, King of the Monsters!', a (lost) Philippines version called 'Tokyo 1960', the infamous 'Cozzilla' and others.

For me to personally give my opinion, I would like to bring up a cut that I've never heard being discussed outside of my own inputs here and there online. An Australian tv-edit of Godzilla (2014).
Although I haven't watched it in full, (as I only watched approximately the last third and a couple of snippets earlier on,) it greatly edits out a large amount of monster action to absurd lengths that makes the action jarringly hard to follow.
I'll go into more detail later down but for now, I think I shall give some slight context. In Australia we have a slightly different rating system to the United States. Where you have your G, PG, PG-13, R and X, the (typical) ratings you will see in Australia are G, PG, M, MA15 and R18. It's more or less the same rating system as the US, with the only differences being slightly different standards (i.e. Ridley Scott's Alien is rated M (PG-13 equivalent) in Australia, whilst in the US the same film is rated R). The point of telling you this is that, the tv-edit I'm referring to of Godzilla 2014 has been edited down so as to give it a PG rating, thus much of the violence has been cut. Kind of ironic given the movie that played right after it was John Wick 2, but I digress.

Before going into detail on what I remember, I must properly clarify that I've seen the Honolulu scene of this edit. I don't remember how much I watched for a little bit after that, however I did return to watch the rest of the movie just a little bit before the Muto train sequence. Though I don't remember too much of what has been changed, I'll detail as much as I remember.
Note: to my understanding, all dialogue/non-action scenes are completely untouched.

Honolulu: Don't remember much, however once Godzilla's foot stomps the ground we cut to ad-break. When the ads are over we don't see the shots of the HokMuto, nor Godzilla roaring at each other, we've just skipped to the next scene with Sam waking up and watching the two monsters fight on tv.

Train Sequence: I really don't remember much at all, but I do remember jarring cuts from when Ford and the other soldier were trying to hide on the tracks as the Muto was looking for them (her head under the bridge) up to when the bridge gets destroyed. Unfortunately, I really can't give specifics.

Godzilla bridge scene: This lasts like 30 seconds... I'm not kidding. They cut out the shot from inside the bus of Godzilla being shot in the gills and destroying the bridge. However, the far shot where Godzilla walks through the destroyed bridge and roaring that transitions to the next scene is kept in, despite having not shown Godzilla destroy the bridge.

MUTO taking the bomb: This is also of-course cut down, but I don't remember any specifics.

Climax: The soldiers approach the female Muto's nest. Jarring cut to the wide shot of Godzilla and the MUTO charging at each other and Godzilla grabbing her. Just like the actual movie it cuts back to the soldiers. Next time we see Godzilla is not of him continuing to push the FeMuto. They skip to the shot within the window of Godzilla getting his ass kicked by the two Mutos. Then the nest explodes. Abrupt cut to the FeMuto about to kill Ford. Another jarring cut to Godzilla's second atomic blast - They skip the charge-up and first blast. Everything I just described happens in the full film in a roughly 6 or 7 minutes sequence (soldier scenes included). Whereas in this edit, it lasted maybe 2 minutes...
After that, I don't remember too much more of the action being cut. It's possible some shots of the FeMuto killing some soldiers may have been cut, but I don't remember for sure. Muto death scenes are fortunately left uncut and after that, the movie plays as normal. Though of course tv runtime demands the credits to be slashed (barring the Warner logo at the end of them)

[Spuro]

Everyone: "Godzilla 2014 didn't have enough Godzilla!"

Australia: *cuts down the monster action even more*

[Great Hierophant]

Most theatrical distributors and even Toho with its Champion Festival edits, were smart enough to know that, if you have to cut, it is better to cut talky scenes than monster scenes. Gareth was not particularly generous with monster scenes in the first place. I wonder if anyone at the TV station looked at the final edited product and wondered "what's the point of this?"

[kingkevzilla88]

WOW, see this is way owning a region free player and importing is always a good idea.

[CrimsonBloodX]

I saw the American version of Varan many years ago and I was so bored and underwhelmed that it's no wonder why kaiju fans hated it. I heard that the American version of Half Human is even worst, so I'm going to stay as far away from that version as possible, unless someone tells me that it's actually not as bad as Varan the Unbelievable.

[eabaker]

I saw the American version of Varan many years ago and I was so bored and underwhelmed that it's no wonder why kaiju fans hated it. I heard that the American version of Half Human is even worst, so I'm going to stay as far away from that version as possible, unless someone tells me that it's actually not as bad as Varan the Unbelievable.

It's been a long time since I watched either, but I don't think the Half-Human cut bored me quite as utterly as Varan did.

[GojiDog]

Gigantis the Fire Monster, to me, embodies all of the bad things we associate with bad alternate cuts, and to me its kind of the gold standard.

The use of excessive and unrelated stock footage, the removal of the original score, the hilariously bad dubbing (I will never get over that Yogi-Bear-Doing-A-Mock-Asian-Voice for Kobayashi) with inane dialogue ("Banana Oil"), the constant and unnecessary narration, and even getting Godzilla's name and roar wrong for God only knows what reason.

Its such a mess, I feel like I have to label it the worst, but its so bombastic in its stupidity, that I kind of love it for that reason. It does everything I hate, but does it with such gusto, that it crosses the bridge and becomes amazing.

[mikelcho]

One question: wasn't the same narrator's voice used earlier for Rodan in the U.S.?

[eabaker]

One question: wasn't the same narrator's voice used earlier for Rodan in the U.S.?

The two had pretty much the same dub casts, and, yeah, Keye Luke dubbed the main character/narrator in both.

[Spuro]

The most annoying alternate cut that I've seen is the American King Kong vs Godzilla. Can you imagine I used to consider this to be one of the worst Godzilla movies? I sure changed my tune when I finally got my hands on the Japanese cut (even if the fan-made subtitles were inaccurate). What a hell of a difference!

At least with Godzilla Raids Again and Varan, the originals aren't that great to begin with.

[mikelcho]

One question: wasn't the same narrator's voice used earlier for Rodan in the U.S.?

The two had pretty much the same dub casts, and, yeah, Keye Luke dubbed the main character/narrator in both.

Yeah, I thought so. Thanks!

[Major sssspielberg!]

American KKvG for sure is awful. I never understood the love for KKvG as a kid until I saw the original cut.

[EvaGhidorah01]

WOW, see this is way owning a region free player and importing is always a good idea.

It's not an issue of having a region-free player or not. This is an edit that to my understanding is strictly played only on TV, the Australian DVDs and Blu-Rays have the same cut of the film as most other regions.

Added in 3 minutes 9 seconds:

The most annoying alternate cut that I've seen is the American King Kong vs Godzilla. Can you imagine I used to consider this to be one of the worst Godzilla movies? I sure changed my tune when I finally got my hands on the Japanese cut (even if the fan-made subtitles were inaccurate). What a hell of a difference!

At least with Godzilla Raids Again and Varan, the originals aren't that great to begin with.

American KKvG for sure is awful. I never understood the love for KKvG as a kid until I saw the original cut.

Maybe I was just dumb, but I actually found a fair amount of enjoyment from Universal's cut of King Kong vs. Godzilla when I first saw it a few years ago. Although I am very glad to have since gotten to see the Japanese cut. It's a shame that the Criterion blu-ray uses a severely outdated transfer, but that 4k restoration is fantastic.

[kingkevzilla88]

WOW, see this is way owning a region free player and importing is always a good idea.

It's not an issue of having a region-free player or not. This is an edit that to my understanding is strictly played only on TV, the Australian DVDs and Blu-Rays have the same cut of the film as most other regions.

I'll have to check my copy to see if it's uncut.

I always recommend getting a region free player, growing up in the UK that was the only way to see the vast majority of kaiju films.

Back on topic, the US version of Varan is boring.

[Malchik]

You know, I always assumed the American scene in Mothra vs. Godzilla was added in by the American distributor.

[Great Hierophant]

For years I thought Godzilla 1985 was the worst alternate cut, although I had not seen some of the other films mentioned here at that time. I always wondered why there was no interaction between the Americans and the Japanese in G85 when Raymond Burr looked to be a full part of the cast of the original Godzilla. He appeared to interact to the original actors, visit the various locations shown in Japan, and even become a victim of Godzilla's rampage through Tokyo. In G85 he and the other American actors just stand around the "war room" commenting on events happening half a world away.

[Bisaju]

Any of those drastically edited for tv timeslot versions to be the worst. I remember the super scary saturday(loved that show)version of "godzilla vs monster zero" cut out the entire portion after akira kubo falls in the trap door where the astronauts go to planet x then see godzilla and rodan fight and they discover other kumi mizunos then they go back. So pretty much a full 10-12 mins. Not only that there are references to that missing portion that left 6-7 year old me like "huh" back in 1988. Then i saw the monster vision airing back in 1995 and i was shocked to see the scenes in that. Took me a while to realize i was seeing something i haven't lol. Since then i saw the movie with those scenes. Again the super scary Saturday airing went like akira kubo being caprured by the aliens then the earth men back at earth with the "formula" for the miracle drug.

[Terasawa]

Any of those drastically edited for tv timeslot versions to be the worst. I remember the super scary saturday(loved that show)version of "godzilla vs monster zero" cut out the entire portion after akira kubo falls in the trap door where the astronauts go to planet x then see godzilla and rodan fight and they discover other kumi mizunos then they go back. So pretty much a full 10-12 mins. Not only that there are references to that missing portion that left 6-7 year old me like "huh" back in 1988. Then i saw the monster vision airing back in 1995 and i was shocked to see the scenes in that. Took me a while to realize i was seeing something i haven't lol. Since then i saw the movie with those scenes. Again the super scary Saturday airing went like akira kubo being caprured by the aliens then the earth men back at earth with the "formula" for the miracle drug.

In the late '70s, KSTW (Seattle) edited its print of Monster Zero to remove everything between the opening credits and the P-1's first return from Planet X. The first scene after the credits is the conference held in the Diet Building, which takes place about 25 minutes into the unedited film.

The U.S. version of MZ runs about 93 minutes, just a touch too long for most stations programming it in a 2-hour slot. Because of that, I think it was very rarely broadcast uncut. I'd bet the Super Scary Saturday version was so heavily edited to make room for the Al Lewis segments.

[The Octopus]

I remember the super scary saturday(loved that show)

I loved it too. Remember this?

[Great Hierophant]

The U.S. version of MZ runs about 93 minutes, just a touch too long for most stations programming it in a 2-hour slot. Because of that, I think it was very rarely broadcast uncut. I'd bet the Super Scary Saturday version was so heavily edited to make room for the Al Lewis segments.

I don't recall Grandpa Al's MZ, but I taped his GKOTM and for years that was my main way to watch it. His KOTM was only trimmed a bit between the commercial breaks, but the original KOTM was only 80 minutes long. They already made Way for Ray, so they didn't have to do much more to make the film a Pal for Al.