Hyper Era Discussion

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godzillafan1954
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Re: Hyper Era Discussion

Post by godzillafan1954 »

Titanoterror98 wrote:Not bad! I can see what the others were saying: the characters could use more descriptions, Spikesaurus needed more foreshadowing and detail, the transitions could have been clearer, the human plot could have been fleshed out more, and maybe go into a little more detail about where the human scenes take place, and maybe the history of this world and its Godzilla(s). But other than that, I thought it was a fun read! I like that you put some pathos into your story, like the little moments between human characters, like the military meetings or Natori and his mom, or Godzilla attempting to protect Junior as he goes into meltdown. I also like the atmosphere you built up at the beginning, and the energy of the fight scenes! I think that if you can pay attention to your criticisms but focus on what you did right, you could be telling some good kaiju fiction before you know it!
Thanks man! :huge:
Titanoterror98 wrote:BTW: I know some of the guys on here compared Spikesaurus to Bagan, but as I was reading, I couldn't help but think of him as an Anguirus offshoot. Was that intentional?
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Re: Hyper Era Discussion

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Re: Hyper Era Discussion

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I really enjoyed it! Though I think everything zoomed by too quickly for my tastes, I think a slightly slower pace would help! Keep going, dude! :D
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Re: Hyper Era Discussion

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MinorBone Good wrote:I really enjoyed it! Though I think everything zoomed by too quickly for my tastes, I think a slightly slower pace would help! Keep going, dude! :D
Thanks man!
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Re: Hyper Era Discussion

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Sorry gfan. As you guessed, I've been a wee busy.

Many people here have said my thoughts: relatively solid action coupled with pockets of superb description carries this story. Think of the description like having a couple of big bobs of jelly on a pb&j - most of the bites you take are just peanut butter and when you do get the jelly it's a bit too much. Spreading the proverbial description jelly would be the first step to improvement.

All in all a pretty good story man! :huge:
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Re: Hyper Era Discussion

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Dawsbfiremind wrote:Sorry gfan. As you guessed, I've been a wee busy.

Many people here have said my thoughts: relatively solid action coupled with pockets of superb description carries this story. Think of the description like having a couple of big bobs of jelly on a pb&j - most of the bites you take are just peanut butter and when you do get the jelly it's a bit too much. Spreading the proverbial description jelly would be the first step to improvement.

All in all a pretty good story man! :huge:
Thanks, brudda!
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Re: Hyper Era Discussion

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godzillafan1954 wrote:
Dawsbfiremind wrote:Sorry gfan. As you guessed, I've been a wee busy.

Many people here have said my thoughts: relatively solid action coupled with pockets of superb description carries this story. Think of the description like having a couple of big bobs of jelly on a pb&j - most of the bites you take are just peanut butter and when you do get the jelly it's a bit too much. Spreading the proverbial description jelly would be the first step to improvement.

All in all a pretty good story man! :huge:
Thanks, brudda!
Sorry it took so long.
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Dawsbfiremind wrote:People have asked me how I can want to be a writer
With skills like this......I wonder too.
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Re: Hyper Era Discussion

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Dawsbfiremind wrote:Sorry it took so long.
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Re: Hyper Era Discussion

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I'd echo the crowd; there needs to be a bit more descriptive passages- scene-setting details and the like, to slow the pace down and give a little more detail- in the human interactions. A little more buildup to Spikeasaurus, for sure. I clearly have nothing original to contribute. :) But with a bit of a more measured pace, it makes a nice collage of elements, a hybrid of showa, heisei, and millenium in combination. A good concept!
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Re: Hyper Era Discussion

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Zarm wrote:I'd echo the crowd; there needs to be a bit more descriptive passages- scene-setting details and the like, to slow the pace down and give a little more detail- in the human interactions. A little more buildup to Spikeasaurus, for sure. I clearly have nothing original to contribute. :) But with a bit of a more measured pace, it makes a nice collage of elements, a hybrid of showa, heisei, and millenium in combination. A good concept!
Thank you, Zarm!
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Re: Hyper Era Discussion

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Last edited by godzillafan1954 on Thu Dec 20, 2018 1:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Hyper Era Discussion

Post by godzillafan1954 »

Godzilla: Birth of a King is officially 1 year old! For anyone who hasn't read it yet, here's the link.
https://www.tohokingdom.com/forum/viewt ... 34&t=28033


Really wanted to have the sequel, Godzilla vs. Megalon, out before today. That didn't quite work out lol
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Re: Hyper Era Discussion

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Within the two days Megalon had been present, another monster reawakened. It hadn't been heard from since its last appearance in late 2016, but now it had a reason to show up. It's dorsal plates ripped through the water, creating massive wakes as it swam at top speed. A man on a small fishing vessel spotted the three distinct rows of spines heading straight for him and dropped his binoculars as he realized what he was looking at. The huge waves following Godzilla capsized the man's boat.

Godzilla arrived in Sagami Bay and began heading for Hiratsuka. A separate team had been sent out to intercept the monster. As Godzilla made landfall, G-Force fired round upon round of gunfire and missiles. The nuclear reptilian kept his pace, not even acknowledging the weapons. As he made his way through the city, Godzilla caused minimum destruction, only crushing smaller buildings in his path. G-Force retreated and reconsidered their strategy. The strikes failed to even get Godzilla's attention.

After several failed attempts, Yukijiro finally came to a decision.

"Get everyone and everything out of his way."


Godzilla vs. Megalon
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Re: Hyper Era Discussion

Post by godzillafan1954 »

Wow, it's been a while, hasn't it? I think it's time to revisit this.
Godzilla: Birth of a King (Revised) coming soon. But not too soon. ;)
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