Ernest H's What if...Discussion.

[ernesth100]

Confident this'll be my funniest series.

[Kubo]

This...I...what? This literally might be the shortest first post for a story I've ever seem. Simmer's right about breaking the rules. If you're going to have a "teaser", it shouldn't be that short and it should give a clear idea of what your story is about. Otherwise, what the heck is the point?

[ernesth100]

It's about What if moments. Like Funny random stuff happening.

[Kubo]

Will it be anything more than short jokes? Will there be something close to a plot that will connect them together? Otherwise, it sorta defeats the purpose of even being in this forum--or anywhere, for that matter.

[ernesth100]

Will it be anything more than short jokes? Will there be something close to a plot that will connect them together? Otherwise, it sorta defeats the purpose of even being in this forum--or anywhere, for that matter.

Well its kind of just a different skit everyday like Robot Chicken.

[Kubo]

Well its kind of just a different skit everyday like Robot Chicken.

Alright. Just try and make your episodes longer next time.

[ernesth100]

And funnier! We're talkin gutbuster funny!

[GodzillaFreak99]

"You're not supposed to post here"

oopsey

[ernesth100]

Um, I'd say don't publish it until you've reached at least 1000 words, unless that was meant to be a prologue

Wasn't even really a story. Just a bunch of What if moments to make people smile and laugh.

[Kubo]

I think you need to reconsider how you are going about this comedy thing. All the problems I feared would come out did, and every section was disjointed from the next. It was a disaster, and I hope you take some time to buckle down and invest in making more than just random jokes. Even if it's a "What-If" type story. Make the segments longer so there's a better pay-off after reading.

[ernesth100]

I think you need to reconsider how you are going about this comedy thing. All the problems I feared would come out did, and every section was disjointed from the next. It was a disaster, and I hope you take some time to buckle down and invest in making more than just random jokes. Even if it's a "What-If" type story. Make the segments longer so there's a better pay-off after reading.

Did it make you smile? Even in the so bad its funny way?

[GodzillaFreak99]

Sorry bout posting in ya fic again.

on to your question, honestly..........not really. Not that I'm saying anything to offend or bash you, or anything of the sort. Your story, er, skits need more work. I'm not that good at advice, but if I was to offer any, I would have to say take some time to sit down, maybe grab a drink, and practice, practice, PRACTICE!

[Kubo]

I think you need to reconsider how you are going about this comedy thing. All the problems I feared would come out did, and every section was disjointed from the next. It was a disaster, and I hope you take some time to buckle down and invest in making more than just random jokes. Even if it's a "What-If" type story. Make the segments longer so there's a better pay-off after reading.

Did it make you smile? Even in the so bad its funny way?

No...if you want me to be completely honest, no it didn't.

[ernesth100]

Aw...well then I quit.

[Kubo]

Aw...well then I quit.

Bloody hell, if that's the attitude you're gonna have, how can you ever hope to improve? I'm willing to give you advice--and I have thus far--but you need to take your writing seriously.

[ernesth100]

...I'm listening.

[Kubo]

To review:
• Make your segments longer. There's nothing there but half-baked jokes right now.
• Put more detail into the segments. None of it really has made sense yet.

Those are your first two objectives for the next batch of segments. The rest we'll work on over time.

[GodzillavsJason]

Aw...well then I quit.

Oh my god! Dude! You made a story that wasn't that funny, way too short, and had hardly any detail to it and say you quit. Wow! We get that you don't like criticism and we get that you get angry about it. Hell none of us like hearing our stories weren't that good or anything like that but it happens! We don't automatically start like the god of writing! No! We start somewhere! We start from the bottom of the barrel where we hardly have any experience at all with this and just write stories that aren't that good. Hell when I first started writing on here and this was way before the majority of you even showed up on here, I wrote a story I wanted to submit for a KWC. It wasn't well received I bitched about it and resented the people who refused but what did I do? I tried my best to write stories and with each story my writing improved. Though people said some criticisms and I wasn't fond of it but yet I still tried and if it wasn't for those criticisms and all those helpful hints then I wouldn't be where I am today. So you can say you quit but don't say you quit and come back bitching about while not making any progress. Because that is some fucking bullshit right there. Like I said we all start from a bad place but over time we all get better and better as we go on. To name a few, pta917 and Biogoji started from a low spot too but look at how they're doing! They're making some actual decent stories that we the readers can enjoy though they can use a little work and we may comment on it but that will only motivate them to try better. Because I have seen everyone on here get better and better with their stories.

So you can either remain on here and try harder the like rest of us have been doing before or you can leave and never return. But don't you even dare leave and then start bitching on how life is unfair and not make any progress at all because we don't want to hear that bullshit.

[Kubo]

Everyone started on the first rung. Some of us just joined with a little more experience than others.

And Ernest, review my last post on the previous page?

[RamshackleRanger]

Yeah... Not very funny. Try making the more detailed. For example, Us "I said" instead of "Me:".

Edit: Ninja'd by godzillaVjason. And caesar.