Ernest's War Series! School Warfare and Card of Duty

[ernesth100]

School Warfare-

This story is about 2 groups of kids in the biggest high school in the city at war in school using school materails as weapons. Group 1 is DREN trying to get out so they can get an advantage and win. Group 2 is JOCK and they have most of the supplies and are winning.

Cause of War: During an assembly in the auditorium during the first of the school year on bullying and equality the jock kids start throwing paper balls. The paper fight escalates to book throwing and everything as the teachers try to stop it but run when someone throws a chair and cracks a security officer and the staff and other adults evacuate. After that dies down the nerds declare war and the jocks accept. They split into two groups and from then on the war has been going for at least a month.

The school is 4 floors, 10 rooms each with 2 sections. There are 3 parts on each floor and the gym,lunch room and pool are connected. The war forced the staff all to leave,except for the lunch lady who was forced to stay and make food. This story takes place like a month after it started.

Here's a short preview- http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9717376/1/S ... ey-of-DREN
School Warfare: Journey of DREN-Part 1, Begin Battle

My name, I'm just a kid named Tim. I'm a tenth grader. Last month a war started in the school and I'm in it. Two teams, mine DREN and theres JOCK. The teachers didn't even try to stop it. One of the security got hit with a chair and they ran. Well the lunch lady stayed but she just puts the food out and closes the door. Those who get food eat, those who don't starve. We have food, but we're short on weapons. The JOCK's have most of the useful stuff. But we have a plan to make up for that. "Okay guys, today we have to get to the art room" Tim said. "Why, incase you didnt know everything 2nd floor and down is JOCK's territory" said Havens. "Exactly...a few of us will go down to the 2nd floor drawing attention to ourselves. A secondary group will come in behind and detonate the heavy artillery" Tim said opening a box filled with milk in bags. Milk bombs are all the rotten milk collected. The smell is horrible but we learned to hold our breath for long periods of time. Milk bombs are limited but good for disorienting enemies and making them throw up. "So what now"said Havens. "Grab, your rulers, and lets go" Tim ordered. We used wooden rulers. Tim used dual metal rulers, one kid Cabral used a yard stick as if it were a bow staff. As we got to the second floor it was quiet and if I've seen enough movies to quiet. Just then a huge guy jumped out of the room and knocked Tim aside. "Good its play time" Cabral said performing a combo on the JOCK. He hit the guy atleast 6 times before knocking him out on the ground. "Is there anyone else" Cabral said. Just then a girl jumped in and knocked Cabral aside. "Dude whats that" Cabral said rubbing his head. "Its a girl a species of the oppisite gender" said Harris. "No, I know that! I mean what is she doing here" Cabral questioned angrily. "Fighting apparently, but most of the girls on our team are back at base...which now that I think about it is kinda sexist" said Harris. "Alright, you can file a lawsuit next time, for now lets knock this girl out" said Tim. "Dude, you sure we can hit a girl" Cabral asked. "Go ahead take your best shot" she said. Cabral jumped up and rushed at the girl, but she grabbed him and flipped him over. "Who's next" she asked smiling. Tim took out his dual metal rulers. "How about me" he replied running at her. She quickly out of her pockets threw small pieces of paper with sharpener blades attached to the side. They were like paper cut blades. They cut Tims arm and his face and he tripped.
Full thing should be done by mid-october.

Bottom line any ideas weapons, tools, etc?
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Card of Duty: Warfare Revamped-
This story is about a guy who uses cards that repliucate the effects, appearances, and abilities of weapons and vehicles to stop a terrorist and save the world. It is highly predictable and short. It was only released to make School Warfare sound and look better. You can read it here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9710639/1/C ... e-Revamped

[ernesth100]

I'm starting off with a weapon idea The Tomaruler.

[ernesth100]

Uh, I...I can't describe my feelings towards this...

just let it flow .

[Beef Bigshot]

i have a great idea for a weapon, get a stick....take a shit on the end, and BAM! excellent weapon!

[GodzillavsJason]

What the hell is this? This just doesn't...... It lacks detail, you're not taking the time planning this out, grammar and spelling mistakes, and horrible background information. You really need to improve on this and in writing in general.

[ernesth100]

What the hell is this? This just doesn't...... It lacks detail, you're not taking the time planning this out, grammar and spelling mistakes, and horrible background information. You really need to improve on this and in writing in general.

He needs to drop writing in general. I think my eyes burned reading his other story.

ill take your advice

[ernesth100]

It's a good idea and all, but god DAMN you need to polish this up and get better grammar, spelling and don't jumble it up like agents of KAIJU.

Yea i'll fix A.o.K. later.

[Kubo]

Can't tell if trolling, or just poorly educated...

[ernesth100]

Nah, i detailed it all!

[Kubo]

Cause of War: During an assembly in the auditorium during the first of the school year on bullying and equality the jock kids start throwing paper balls. The paper fight escalates to book throwing and everything as the teachers try to stop it but run when someone throws a chair and cracks a security officer and the staff and other adults evacuate. After that dies down the nerds declare war and the jocks accept. They split into two groups and from then on the war has been going for at least a month.

You amaze me.

I would love to see you write this for a couple reasons: one being that I don't think anybody else could write something this hilariously random and two...eh, two is a secret.

DREN Team for life!!

[ernesth100]

So two is a secret alright then. Oh did anyone read DREN backwards yet?

[ernesth100]

Aha, I like making stories. So I guess as long as I add detail and grammer, no bad comments. Until the story is done. Any questions?

[Kubo]

Why are you so hateful towards negative feedback? The reason that we (or at least I) give anyone that kind of feedback is that I'd like to see improvement. Better than no feedback, right? It'd take longer to learn without it.

[20th Century Boy]

Aha, I like making stories. So I guess as long as I add detail and grammer, no bad comments. Until the story is done. Any questions?

I don't think detail and grammar alone are what make a story good. You still need a good plot with good characters and acceptable pacing, writing skill, and sometimes meaning. So no, your story will not be immune to criticism if you have good detail and grammar. It's just the way it is; even good writers need criticism.

So two is a secret alright then. Oh did anyone read DREN backwards yet?

So why isn't group 2 named Kcoj?

[ernesth100]

Why are you so hateful towards negative feedback? The reason that we (or at least I) give anyone that kind of feedback is that I'd like to see improvement. Better than no feedback, right? It'd take longer to learn without it.

Its not that its the people who go too far advice and being mean are very different.

[ernesth100]

Naming it KCOJ, is not the style of the characters JOCK.

[Beef Bigshot]

I fail to see how this is a war? This is like a pathetic squabble between two groups of immature kids. Also, if these nerds are hurt by paper balls.....I dont even

[Beef Bigshot]

It would be funny if this turns out to be really good lol

Anywho, I'm semi wearing for this because now I HAVE to read it. I'm hoping for a jock to spill a nerd's entrails with his epic PAPER CUT SWORD! honestly wouldn't a yard ruler be better?

[ernesth100]

I fail to see how this is a war? This is like a pathetic squabble between two groups of immature kids. Also, if these nerds are hurt by paper balls.....I dont even

no ofcourse not the paper balls are wrapped in tape so the do sting but nothing serious...well except for the PBB.

[ernesth100]

I fail to see how this is a war? This is like a pathetic squabble between two groups of immature kids. Also, if these nerds are hurt by paper balls.....I dont even

No man, trust him. They'll use dull pencils next.

No the pencils are sharp but theres a small death toll mostly by accident.