Describe Showa Era Movie Plots Badly

[cmdmstudios]

Godzilla: Woman cheating on her fiancee causes him to save the day
Godzilla Raids Again: Convicts light large tinder box. Chaos ensues.
King Kong vs Godzilla: Pharmaceutical company has worst ad campaign ever, at least until Pepsi comes along.
Mothra vs Godzilla: Stealing eggs, dismissing the press, and ignoring science in the name of money is why we can't have nice things.
Ghidorah, the Three Headed Monster: Delusional woman is either very lucky, or her assassin is just incredibly bad.
Monster Zero: Beware geeks baring gifts.
Godzilla vs the Sea Monster: Yachting expedition takes a seriously bad turn.
Son of Godzilla: Abusive father protects premature son from the bad neighborhood they live in.
Destroy All Monsters: Woman has the worst first day of work EVER.
All Monsters Attack: Japanese Home Alone
Godzilla vs Hedorah: Lets show you some cool animations to distract you from the fact that there is mass genocide by way of sulfuric acid.
Godzilla vs Gigan: Hippies destroy amusement park.
Godzilla vs Megalon: Kids don't watch these movies to see women.
Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla: WAKE THE SKREEONK UP. IT'S PAST NOON. GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER. *proceeds to not get life together*
Terror of Mechagodzilla: Woman gets more than she asks for when she goes in for minor surgery.

[godzillafan1954]

Gojira: A brilliant pirate scientist creates a weapon of mass destruction. Uses it to take his life. Rare creature also killed.
Godzilla Raids Again: A giant, fire-breathing T-Rex battles a giant armadillo/porcupine hybrid.
King Kong vs. Godzilla: Big ape vs. Big lizard. Small brain.
Mothra vs. Godzilla: Easter egg hunt. Giant butterfly isn't having it.
Invasion of Astro-Monster: Ghidorah refuses to dance.
Ebirah, Horror of the Deep: Godzilla wants boiled crawfish.
Son of Godzilla: Godzilla teaches his son how to deal with bullies.
Destroy All Monsters: Does anyone have any idea how we can stop these creatures?!
All Monsters Attack: A kid dreams about Monster Island.
Godzilla vs. Hedorah: A visual of what an acid trip looks like.
Godzilla vs. Gigan: Ghidorah still doesn't want to dance. A cyborg chicken. The armadillo/porcupine hybrid somehow returns.
Godzilla vs. Megalon: The cyborg chicken returns and makes a new friend; a beetle with drills for hands. A robot grows up to help Godzilla.
Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla: Wait a minute. That's not the real Godzilla.
Terror of Mechagodzilla: "We need to operate stat!"

[Dawsbfiremind]

Gojira: the source for "the most interesting kaiju in the world" footage.

Godzilla Raids Again: Brought to you by banana oil.

King Kong vs Godzilla: A brain the size of a walnut is apparently the only thing keeping Kong from catching fire.

Mothra vs Godzilla: Broken-nosed Godzilla fights off a giant moth while a random dude eats his weight in boiled eggs.

Ghidorah the three-headed Monster: Delusional chick puts off a disconcerting air while Ghidorah and Akihiko Hirata stand around looking awesome.

Monster Zero: Sign language speaking aliens with no shortage of water try to weaponize Godzilla, causing him to dance.

Godzilla vs the Sea Monster: A bunch of Japanese people are inflicted by ptsd, inhibiting them from ever again ordering jumbo shrimp.

Son of Godzilla: Minilla wonders where he came from too.

Destroy All Monsters: The one made before the Matrix crossover. You know, the good one.

Godzilla's Revenge: Boy's home apparently has a gas leak.

Godzilla vs Hedorah: Godzilla fights Trashbagara while a dude hallucinates fish-headed people.

Godzilla vs Gigan: Anyone notice that Minilla's been missing for the last few movies?

Godzilla vs Megalon: Godzilla defies physics in the best way since he flew.

Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla: Godzilla uses the force on his mechanical clone.

Terror of Mechagodzilla: Fishosaurus and Megamechagodzilla fail to kill Godzilla, as we predicted.

Mothra: Not since the battle of Endor has so much chaos been caused by little people.

Rodan: Monsterverse gets its Flash/Quicksilver.

King Kong Escapes: Is that a monkey?

[godzillafan1954]

Alternate
Godzilla vs. Hedorah: Godzilla is now an Uber.

[edgaguirus]

Godzilla raids again- Monsters' lack of getting along proves bad for city.
Mothra vs G- Humans, Godzilla, and Mothra get in a big tiff over an egg.
DAM- When monsters get lose, Earth calls in the space marines.
G vs Gigan- Roaches give Godzilla big headache.
G vs Megalon- Godzilla meets Ultraman.

[godzillafan1954]

Godzilla raids again- Monsters' lack of getting along proves bad for city.
Mothra vs G- Humans, Godzilla, and Mothra get in a big tiff over an egg.
DAM- When monsters get lose, Earth calls in the space marines.
G vs Biollante- Godzilla gets his ass handed to him by a flower.
G vs Destroyah- Godzilla and son have a big crab problem.

Heisei.

[edgaguirus]

Fixed.

[Kaijunator]

Gigantis, The Fire Monster: Godzilla (Oh I'm sorry, GIGANTIS) fights his cuz and BANANA OIL

[Billzilla1974]

Gojira: Good monster movie proceeds to create a fan base that unfairly shits on the many sequels that don't keep the dark tone.
Raids again: ^case and point/rushed sequel features a dinosaur that non-fans refuse to believe is a dinosaur & not a porcupine/hedgehog despite looking nothing like either mammal.
KKVSG: Drunken, inbred, fatass who vaguely resembles an ape of some sort proceeds to make Godzilla ate shit.
MVSG: Nuclear test victims unwillingly give away their goddess despite her egg guaranteeing her return, to fight a sleep deprived, slow to anger Godzilla.
GTTHM: The Godzilla version of Aku forces the surviving mothrapiller/moving shit to have a counseling session with Godzilla and Rodan, who are assholes till Ghidorah attacks Mothra.
GVSMZ: Hyper-advanced aliens capture the two a-holes who helped stop Ghiderah so they can take over, but a foolish inventor uses a sound that should warrant a third atomic bombing to earrape the aliens to death.
GVSTSM: Godzilla gets temporary brain damage after a lightning strike hits his eye & he takes it out on the Inspiration for al-Qaida/Isis & their food supply/chicken and lobster dinners. * Mothra acts lazy and Godzilla becomes ugly in the next film because of the nuke at the end.
SoG: Godzilla adopts a prematurely hatched abomination that makes him look normal, they proceed to fight the red shirts of the showa series and an arachnophobe's best friend. Godzilla proves he is nicer than many human beings by sparing Minya from a slow, cold death.
Revenge: The producers of Godzilla take a shit on every Godzilla fan for ages to come.
GVSH: Banno takes all of the shits he has ever taken & turns them into a monster, who witnesses Godzilla give up on physics and fly.
GvG: Abused alien dino Abuses a dog and Godzilla. Khan Ghidorah does nothing until the dog bites him in the ass.
GVSM: The worst music in the franchise plays over a film about defying physics and abused dog goes underground.
GVSMG: The abused dog attacks a false Godzilla & gets raped, a Lion person ignites the passion of furries in the 70s while Godzilla has the worst days of his life.
ToMG: An abused dinosaur and the can of woopass from the last movie give Godzilla a bad time before he murders them.
DAM: The abused dog and Godzilla help a Japanese Gwangi regain his masculinity after Kong fought him and they all murder the three headed telephone before retiring from being monsters & stay confined on an island with ABSOLUTLY no complaints, for the rest of their lives.

[szmigiel]

• Father wants to study new lifeform, while his daughter schemes with her finance and lover to kill it.
  
  Reporter is stalked by large monster till his college buddy kills it for him.
  
  Bad luck follows a pilot around causing disaster, until he finally decides to end it all.
  
  Fighter with a drinking problem is kidnapped and then thrown into battle against a living flamethrower.
  
  After a monster kills their mother, twins put him into a silk straightjacket.
  
  Monsters argue whether or not it is worth saving mankind from a space monster.
  
  Astronauts get bamboozled trying to obtain the cure for cancer.
  
  A marathon dance competition leads to three castaways and a native girl stopping an evil organization with plans of world domination on a remote island.
  
  To win a bet scientist makes it snow on a tropical island.
  
  Boyfriend searches for his kidnapped girlfriend, when he finds her he rips her earrings out, later gets payback on her kidnappers.
  
  Baby monster dreams he is a latchkey kid in late 60’s Tokyo.
  
  When pollution becomes a monster that threatens the world, mankind’s only hope is a walking embodiment of nuclear war.
  
  Man’s smoking habit almost causes the world to be conquered by big cockroaches.
  
  Tired of nuclear bomb tests, undersea people send a monster to destroy the only country to ever have nuclear weapons used on them.
  
  Out of towners kidnap scientist to fix their super advanced weapon of destruction, his smoking habit ends up saving the day.
  
  Women is torn between helping her father and his friends from out of town, or betraying them and helping her potential lover, ends up committing suicide.

[Destorogoji]

Invasion of Astro-Monster: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cVlTeIATBs

[SoggyNoodles2016]

Dr. Serizawa, or how I learned to stop worrying and use the Oxygen Destoryer.
A Romantic Comedy but with kaiju.
A drunk wakes up in another country where he is forced into a fight by a group of marketing men.
Two Japanese businessman destroy the country because of an egg.
Avengers but it's a 60s monster movie.

Kaiju Lobster!
An orphan and a radiation survivor bond and become a family while killing bugs.
Avengers: Infintiy War but it's a 60s monster movie.
The weirdest episode of Barney ever.
Captain Planet but it's the dark and gritty monster movie reboot.
The first movie involving giant reptillian monsters at a theme park. #Speilberg'sahack
Jet Jaguar. No joke I make can beat that.
Interpol can apparently fight aliens now.
A truly moving tragedy that also has a heoric radioactive dinosaur getting slammed into the ground by a giant sea seprent dragon/combo as the robotic doppleganer of said radioactive dinosaur watches.

[PitchBlackProgress]

Imagrants take our jobs, women, and land.

“Eat the shrooms they said, it’ll taste like chicken they said”

[edgaguirus]

War of the Gargantuas- Two giants with a disagreement about proper diet.

Varan the Unbelievable- a giant lizard rises from a lake to get screwed in production.

Dogora- Turns out diamonds are a kaijus' best friend.

[GojiDog]

War of the Gargantuas = Vegetarianism Vs. Pure Meat-Eating!

[godzilla98rules]

Gojira: Research first, Humanity second
Godzilla Raids Again: Or is it Gigantis?
King Kong vs Godzilla: "Pour me something tall and strong. Make it a hurricane before I go insane"
Mothra vs Godzilla: That egg must have hurt!
Ghidorah, the Three Headed Monster: "Great shootin' tex!"
Godzilla vs Monster Zero: We beat Star Trek
Godzilla vs the Sea Monster: Dr. Lobster, Crustaceans Are Forever, On Her Bamboo's Nuclear Station, The Monster With The Lobster Claw, From Letchi Island With Love
Son of Godzilla: A Bug's Life (Kaiju Remix)
Destroy All Monsters: Avengers: Monster War
All Monsters Attack: Bank Robbers for Dummies
Godzilla vs Hedorah: Dirty Jobs: Acid Trip
Godzilla vs Gigan: Time to scrap the suit.....
Godzilla vs Megalon: All work and no play makes Jaguar a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jaguar a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jaguar a dull boy.
Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla: "Laziest aliens EVER"
Terror of Mechagodzilla: We don't know what dinosaurs are....

[HillyHulk]

Gojira: A giant monster breaks stuff.
Godzilla, King of The Monsters: Second verse, slightly different from the first.
Godzilla Raids Again: (Singing) Why can't we be friends?
Godzilla vs King Kong: The Eighth Wonder of the World... is getting his ass beat!
Godzilla vs Mothra: Not in big momma's house!
Ghidorah, The Three Headed Monster: Yup, he sure has three heads alright.
Invasion of the Astro Monster: Kaiju (with echoy voice) IN SPACE!!!
Ebirah, the Sea Monster: Help, my food's trying to kill me!
Son of Godzilla: You're sure he's his son and not just a mutated donkey?
Destroy All Monsters: Aliens do what aliens always try to do in these movies, but with mind control.
All Monsters Attack: Please don't talk, Minilla, it's freaking me out. Also, stock footage, bullies, and thugs.
Godzilla vs the Smog Monster: A poop monster is attacking... eh.
Godzilla vs Gigan: First seafood, now space chicken. What a world.
Godzilla vs Megalon: Godzilla does some pest control.
Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla: (Singing again) Domo Arigato, mr mecha... (sings awkwardly) o. Sorry.
Terror of Mechagodzilla: Scientists (and aliens), am I right? (exaggerated shrug and laugh track plays)

[TMT]

Mothra: Simple country girl visits big city for first time. God help big city.
Mothra vs. Godzilla : You go, girl(s).

[ArchdukeSquidlyIII]

King Kong vs Godzilla: Pharmaceutical company has worst ad campaign ever, at least until Pepsi Dr. Pepper comes along.

Fixed that one for you

[edgaguirus]

Terror of MG- aliens, mad scientist, cyborg girl, and kaiju. What more could you ask for?

G vs Megalon- Godzilla meets a low rent Ultraman.