Discussion: PREY

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M.U.T.O.
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Discussion: PREY

Postby M.U.T.O. » Sun Aug 24, 2014 9:32 am

Here is the discussion for my multi-part story, PREY. Please give positive and constructive criticism, other feedback, and tell me what you'd like to see in the story.
Go on, do your thing!
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KaijuX wrote:Bagan is infused with Bagan and Ghidorah Cells

Derzerb wrote:
M.U.T.O. wrote:At this point, I have to ask. Have we devolved into absolute unbridled psychological diarrhea?

I blame Shinji Ikari for this.

Tokumei wrote:never forget tadpole :godzilla:

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Re: Discussion: PREY

Postby 2004Zilla » Sun Aug 24, 2014 10:56 am

Very suspenseful. Nicely done.
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Re: Discussion: PREY

Postby M.U.T.O. » Sun Aug 24, 2014 12:15 pm

Thank you!
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KaijuX wrote:Bagan is infused with Bagan and Ghidorah Cells

Derzerb wrote:
M.U.T.O. wrote:At this point, I have to ask. Have we devolved into absolute unbridled psychological diarrhea?

I blame Shinji Ikari for this.

Tokumei wrote:never forget tadpole :godzilla:

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Re: Discussion: PREY

Postby M.U.T.O. » Sun Aug 24, 2014 3:57 pm

I know. It's a dark story.
Did I mention the subtitle?
Spoiler:
Prey: A Story of Vulnerable Humanity
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KaijuX wrote:Bagan is infused with Bagan and Ghidorah Cells

Derzerb wrote:
M.U.T.O. wrote:At this point, I have to ask. Have we devolved into absolute unbridled psychological diarrhea?

I blame Shinji Ikari for this.

Tokumei wrote:never forget tadpole :godzilla:

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Re: Discussion: PREY

Postby M.U.T.O. » Sun Aug 24, 2014 4:14 pm

Thanks.
I won't, Saansilt. There'll be light moments,
Spoiler:
but they'll have to rebuild.
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KaijuX wrote:Bagan is infused with Bagan and Ghidorah Cells

Derzerb wrote:
M.U.T.O. wrote:At this point, I have to ask. Have we devolved into absolute unbridled psychological diarrhea?

I blame Shinji Ikari for this.

Tokumei wrote:never forget tadpole :godzilla:

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Re: Discussion: PREY

Postby M.U.T.O. » Tue Aug 26, 2014 5:43 am

Part 2 is up.
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KaijuX wrote:Bagan is infused with Bagan and Ghidorah Cells

Derzerb wrote:
M.U.T.O. wrote:At this point, I have to ask. Have we devolved into absolute unbridled psychological diarrhea?

I blame Shinji Ikari for this.

Tokumei wrote:never forget tadpole :godzilla:

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Re: Discussion: PREY

Postby Kubo » Tue Aug 26, 2014 7:02 am

Not bad. If a little more emphasis was put on the emotional parts, the resonance of the story would go through the roof! :)
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Re: Discussion: PREY

Postby M.U.T.O. » Tue Aug 26, 2014 7:09 am

So, what would you recommend I do? PM me, please.
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KaijuX wrote:Bagan is infused with Bagan and Ghidorah Cells

Derzerb wrote:
M.U.T.O. wrote:At this point, I have to ask. Have we devolved into absolute unbridled psychological diarrhea?

I blame Shinji Ikari for this.

Tokumei wrote:never forget tadpole :godzilla:

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Re: Discussion: PREY

Postby GodzillavsJason » Wed Aug 27, 2014 8:53 pm

Forgot to post here a while back.

Anyway, as I said in the PM, not bad and this is quite a suspenseful story that leaves you wondering what could be out there in the darkness. I am also surprised to see this be quite a dark story which I very much welcome. Keep up the good work and I wish to see more of this. :)
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Re: Discussion: PREY

Postby M.U.T.O. » Thu Aug 28, 2014 4:52 am

Thanks a dozen, GvJ.
Part 2 is in the process of being edited for some more additional stuff.
Part 3 is also in the works in my head, to be written out soon enough.
Artist. Writer. Creator.

KaijuX wrote:Bagan is infused with Bagan and Ghidorah Cells

Derzerb wrote:
M.U.T.O. wrote:At this point, I have to ask. Have we devolved into absolute unbridled psychological diarrhea?

I blame Shinji Ikari for this.

Tokumei wrote:never forget tadpole :godzilla:

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Re: Discussion: PREY

Postby Kubo » Thu Aug 28, 2014 6:23 pm

M.U.T.O. wrote:Thanks a dozen, GvJ.
Part 2 is in the process of being edited for some more additional stuff.
Part 3 is also in the works in my head, to be written out soon enough.

Well hurry it up, I'm tired of waiting! :P
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Next Episode Airs August 4th @ 10:00 pm EST in the Fan Fiction Forum
NEW EPISODE OUT NOW!
New Episode Every Saturday!
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Re: Discussion: PREY

Postby Gojira21 » Thu Sep 18, 2014 4:24 pm

Well, somehow I overlooked this story before and I'm sad that did not read it sooner!

The story was laid out pretty well, I liked the dark tone this story is going with and the use of first person narrative. Honestly I'm not a big fan of first person, however, your story actually does nice job of keep the reader hooked. I loved the insights to the family as definitely tried to establish some character drama and for most part worked. Although probably could spend a little bit more on them, but sometimes is hard to do with first person.

Overall, this great story! I like how it is basically in mystery to what exactly the creature is and really do not see many monsters stories with the villain being a worm like creature. Keep it up!
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Re: Discussion: PREY

Postby M.U.T.O. » Thu Sep 18, 2014 4:27 pm

Thanks a dozen! This story, though currently in a state of limbo, might resume with parts.
Artist. Writer. Creator.

KaijuX wrote:Bagan is infused with Bagan and Ghidorah Cells

Derzerb wrote:
M.U.T.O. wrote:At this point, I have to ask. Have we devolved into absolute unbridled psychological diarrhea?

I blame Shinji Ikari for this.

Tokumei wrote:never forget tadpole :godzilla:

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Re: Discussion: PREY

Postby Gojira21 » Thu Sep 18, 2014 4:30 pm

Hey, that happens man. Heck, most of my stories have become on hiatus lately >_> lol

Best thing to do is don't rush any aspect of the story, take your time.
"Monsters are tragic beings; they are born too tall, too strong, too heavy, they are not evil by choice. That is their tragedy"

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http://pokemunity.proboards.com/index.cgi

"Promethus has landed"

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Re: Discussion: PREY

Postby M.U.T.O. » Mon Jul 06, 2015 3:44 pm

Hey all! This'll be revived in due time, probably re-created with new kaiju and an altered plot. The name will be kept, but a new thread'll be created for the story.
Artist. Writer. Creator.

KaijuX wrote:Bagan is infused with Bagan and Ghidorah Cells

Derzerb wrote:
M.U.T.O. wrote:At this point, I have to ask. Have we devolved into absolute unbridled psychological diarrhea?

I blame Shinji Ikari for this.

Tokumei wrote:never forget tadpole :godzilla:


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