And Legendary had to go with a Godzilla vs Kong movie when we could've had something infinitely better: Yonggary vs Pulgasari.Gerdzerl wrote:Yonggary is the true King of the Monsters and would kick that poser Godzilla's ass.
Trolling Godzilla Fans
- Dawsbfiremind
- EDF Instructor
- Posts: 2958
- Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2017 7:59 pm
- Location: My writing desk
Re: Trolling Godzilla Fans
goji89 wrote:With skills like this......I wonder too.Dawsbfiremind wrote:People have asked me how I can want to be a writer
TK drinking game official rules.MechaGoji Bro7503 wrote:Holy mother of Bagan we actually are stuck in limbo.
https://www.tohokingdom.com/forum/viewt ... 0#p1564587
- PitchBlackProgress
- EDF Instructor
- Posts: 2189
- Joined: Wed Sep 06, 2017 12:15 pm
Re: Trolling Godzilla Fans
Let’s stop bringing up Yonggary, everyone knows a reboot would fail ‘less the final scene consisted of Yonggary’s anal hemorrhage…
Yeah, Godzilla wins... sometimes. I mean, he was killed by Dr. Serizawa's patented bubble-bath formula, heartburn, missiles, and poor box office returns, got his ass kicked by a drunken, circus-escaped gorilla, then he was beaten by two newborn worms, yeah some “king”.
#slatternking
- GojiDude95
- Interpol Agent
- Posts: 566
- Joined: Wed Jan 24, 2018 9:36 pm
Re: Trolling Godzilla Fans
What was that last part?
- PitchBlackProgress
- EDF Instructor
- Posts: 2189
- Joined: Wed Sep 06, 2017 12:15 pm
Re: Trolling Godzilla Fans
The original Yonngary ends with the monster bleeding out its ass after it’s killed.GojiDude95 wrote:What was that last part?
Like, he dies, voids his bowels, and it’s nothing but blood.
Last edited by PitchBlackProgress on Thu Sep 27, 2018 9:31 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Yeah, Godzilla wins... sometimes. I mean, he was killed by Dr. Serizawa's patented bubble-bath formula, heartburn, missiles, and poor box office returns, got his ass kicked by a drunken, circus-escaped gorilla, then he was beaten by two newborn worms, yeah some “king”.
#slatternking
- Dv-218
- Futurian
- Posts: 3725
- Joined: Fri Aug 17, 2018 4:18 am
Re: Trolling Godzilla Fans
Nah, Yonggary vs A.P.E or bustDawsbfiremind wrote:And Legendary had to go with a Godzilla vs Kong movie when we could've had something infinitely better: Yonggary vs Pulgasari.Gerdzerl wrote:Yonggary is the true King of the Monsters and would kick that poser Godzilla's ass.
Last edited by Dv-218 on Thu Sep 27, 2018 2:31 am, edited 1 time in total.
- GojiDude95
- Interpol Agent
- Posts: 566
- Joined: Wed Jan 24, 2018 9:36 pm
Re: Trolling Godzilla Fans
Oh MyPitchBlackProgress wrote:The original Yonngary ends with the monster bleeding out its ass after it’s killed.GojiDude95 wrote:What was that last part?
Like, he dies, voids his bowls, and it’s nothing but blood.
They took the phrase "shit happens" to a whole other level!!
- Saltmons
- Samurai
- Posts: 70
- Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2018 2:31 pm
Re: Trolling Godzilla Fans
Probably a necrobump, but you forgot how Ultraman's time limit causes him to instantly lose any and all fantasy matches.Jomei wrote:Ultraman - All that's left when you realize Godzilla is terrible
Ultraman is a low-budget parody of the Godzilla series owned and created by Sompote Sands after the smashing success of Godzilla vs Megalon. Ultraman is based on Jet Jaguar but without any of the Jack Nicholson charm. To save what little budget he had, Sompote created Ultraman with a three minute time limit for battle, meaning that, just like with any Godzilla movie, you can just fast-forward to the end, because everything else is trash.
Guide to the monsters
Gomora - Based on Gamera, the flying turtle, this kaiju is boring and has no beams. However, his HEISEI series incarnation features a OHKO move that's perfect for fantasy matches, so you should always pick him as your starter Pokemon.
Redkong - To get around copyright issues, Sompote created his own corn-based version of King Kong. Garth Edmunds based his design for Godzilla 2012 on this monster.
Kamen Rider - Ultraman's nemesis, this bicycle-riding Social Justice Warrior is based on the popular American series Power Rangers.
JirASS - Godzilla with foreskin. Times were tough in Japan.
Tips
+ Nobody cares about Ultraman. Just plug in a good ol' Heisei Godziller and zoom to the fight!
I'm a toku fan first and a kaiju fan second.
-
- Keizer
- Posts: 8608
- Joined: Wed Jul 28, 2010 1:25 pm
Re: Trolling Godzilla Fans
No mention of Baltan?
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
The strength of the vampire is that people will not believe in him.
The strength of the vampire is that people will not believe in him.
- Kaiju-Killer 751
- Monsterland Worker
- Posts: 233
- Joined: Fri Sep 09, 2016 7:54 pm
Re: Trolling Godzilla Fans
I'm a little late to the party, but screw it, Imma put in some posts and see if I can get anything in-Might as well make some jabs at one of my own favorite monsters too and its more extreme side of its fandom.
How to be a Rabid Tristar Godzilla/GINO/Zilla Fanboy
-Talk about how realistic Zilla is and why he is the best and true Godzilla (possibly next to Godzilla 2014). Bonus points if you bring up how the Japanese Godzilla would lose in a fight.
-String together and form a fan theory about how Godzilla was ACTUALLY made by America first, which you back up with loose and idiotic ideas that because other giant reptilian monsters were made by America BEFORE Godzilla, this is true. (ie The Arctic Giant, Rhedosaurus)
-Create as much Edgy Art as possible showing off raptorization at its finest, wasting what talent you may actually have with crappy and often racist drawings.
-Rant and scream like a child about why everyone hating Zilla are just dumb trolls, ignoring any and all valid points they may actually have about why they just don't like the character.
-Refuse to acknowledge the name change, and even when presented with evidence about what actually happened insist on calling them one thing or another (admittedly this can be a bit of a headache sometimes but still).
How to Troll a Rabid Tristar Fanboy (note; Disliking Zilla is one thing, and trolling an elitist TriStar prick is another thing, but this stuff can make it go from dislike to hate-boner levels if it's believed unironically and to an extreme-then again, everyone is entitled to their own opinion)
-Make entire threads based on bashing the character
-Make videos of Zilla getting his/her/its tail kicked by every possible monster (remakes of Godzilla curbstomping him are good, but making MINYA murder the shit out of Zilla is bound to make people get frothing at the mouth).
-Calling Zilla a 'she'-Illogical Biology aside, Word of God is a tricky business and discussing things like calling it a she can make people feel their 'All American and Athletic King' is being insulted.
-Continually make reference on how Zilla got the poop kicked out of him in Final Wars.
-Make threads or videos about how horrible Godzilla The Series is/was, bonus points if you have 'Zilla Jr' killed off effortlessly.
(Here's hoping I don't sound like a raging Zilla fanboy)
How to be a Rabid Tristar Godzilla/GINO/Zilla Fanboy
-Talk about how realistic Zilla is and why he is the best and true Godzilla (possibly next to Godzilla 2014). Bonus points if you bring up how the Japanese Godzilla would lose in a fight.
-String together and form a fan theory about how Godzilla was ACTUALLY made by America first, which you back up with loose and idiotic ideas that because other giant reptilian monsters were made by America BEFORE Godzilla, this is true. (ie The Arctic Giant, Rhedosaurus)
-Create as much Edgy Art as possible showing off raptorization at its finest, wasting what talent you may actually have with crappy and often racist drawings.
-Rant and scream like a child about why everyone hating Zilla are just dumb trolls, ignoring any and all valid points they may actually have about why they just don't like the character.
-Refuse to acknowledge the name change, and even when presented with evidence about what actually happened insist on calling them one thing or another (admittedly this can be a bit of a headache sometimes but still).
How to Troll a Rabid Tristar Fanboy (note; Disliking Zilla is one thing, and trolling an elitist TriStar prick is another thing, but this stuff can make it go from dislike to hate-boner levels if it's believed unironically and to an extreme-then again, everyone is entitled to their own opinion)
-Make entire threads based on bashing the character
-Make videos of Zilla getting his/her/its tail kicked by every possible monster (remakes of Godzilla curbstomping him are good, but making MINYA murder the shit out of Zilla is bound to make people get frothing at the mouth).
-Calling Zilla a 'she'-Illogical Biology aside, Word of God is a tricky business and discussing things like calling it a she can make people feel their 'All American and Athletic King' is being insulted.
-Continually make reference on how Zilla got the poop kicked out of him in Final Wars.
-Make threads or videos about how horrible Godzilla The Series is/was, bonus points if you have 'Zilla Jr' killed off effortlessly.
(Here's hoping I don't sound like a raging Zilla fanboy)
Last edited by Kaiju-Killer 751 on Sat May 16, 2020 9:33 pm, edited 3 times in total.
-
- Keizer
- Posts: 8608
- Joined: Wed Jul 28, 2010 1:25 pm
Re: Trolling Godzilla Fans
No, you don't.
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
The strength of the vampire is that people will not believe in him.
The strength of the vampire is that people will not believe in him.
- Voyager
- Keizer
- Posts: 7973
- Joined: Mon Nov 11, 2019 12:34 pm
- Location: On a boat
Re: Trolling Godzilla Fans
Looking through old threads and I just saw this one and it clicked.
Heisei Fan Boys
These buggers are everywhere in the fandom apart from TK. I’ll give you a guide on how to be like them and how to troll them.
How to be like them
+Beam Fights are much more realistic than Kung-fu.
+Bagan is the most badass monster ever!
+Destoroyah is the devil!
+Tsuburaya was a novice. Kawakita was far better.
+The big 5 are better in the Heisei series.
+It’s dark and serious. Not that campy bullshit.
How to piss them off
+Godzilla, Mechagodzilla, SpaceGodzilla and Destoroyah have OBESITY.
+The effects have dated terribly.
+Godzilla vs Biollante was the only good one.
+SpaceG is a pedophile.
+Bagan is a generic, pile of steaming shit.
+The monsters are lifeless props.
+ “bAtTrA IS moThrA bUt bLacK!”
+Just say something negative about Godzilla vs Destoroyah. They’ll go on a crusade.
Heisei Fan Boys
These buggers are everywhere in the fandom apart from TK. I’ll give you a guide on how to be like them and how to troll them.
How to be like them
+Beam Fights are much more realistic than Kung-fu.
+Bagan is the most badass monster ever!
+Destoroyah is the devil!
+Tsuburaya was a novice. Kawakita was far better.
+The big 5 are better in the Heisei series.
+It’s dark and serious. Not that campy bullshit.
How to piss them off
+Godzilla, Mechagodzilla, SpaceGodzilla and Destoroyah have OBESITY.
+The effects have dated terribly.
+Godzilla vs Biollante was the only good one.
+SpaceG is a pedophile.
+Bagan is a generic, pile of steaming shit.
+The monsters are lifeless props.
+ “bAtTrA IS moThrA bUt bLacK!”
+Just say something negative about Godzilla vs Destoroyah. They’ll go on a crusade.
Last edited by Voyager on Mon Sep 21, 2020 9:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
For Emperor and Empire!
- Kaltes-Herzeleid
- JXSDF Technician
- Posts: 1086
- Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2014 11:07 pm
- Location: The Great Tomb of Nazarick
Re: Trolling Godzilla Fans
+point out that the Heisei Gamera trilogy brutally mogs every Godzilla movie of the same time period and then some. Enjoy the ensuing reeeeeeeeing about how "GAMERA WILL NEVER BE BETTER THAN GODZILLA!!!!"
+say Miki Saeguesa is a boring and at worst, irritating "character."
+say Miki Saeguesa is a boring and at worst, irritating "character."
Last edited by Kaltes-Herzeleid on Mon Sep 21, 2020 10:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- _JNavs_
- Keizer
- Posts: 9657
- Joined: Fri Jan 11, 2019 7:59 pm
- Location: New York
Re: Trolling Godzilla Fans
Just tell Showa fans their films are surface level rompstomps with no grander idea than to make some money back.
_______________________________________________________
Instagram: @Lord.Gojira
Instagram: @Lord.Gojira
- Tyrant_Lizard_King
- Sazer
- Posts: 12879
- Joined: Tue Jan 29, 2013 5:57 am
- Location: The Planet Trade HQ
- Contact:
Re: Trolling Godzilla Fans
Isn't that 99% of all Godzilla movies?
Rocker, paleo buff, cryptid enthusiast, Dragonball fanatic, and lover of comic book, video game, manga, & anime babes!
Follow me on Twitter, if you dare! https://twitter.com/TLK_1983
Follow me on Twitter, if you dare! https://twitter.com/TLK_1983
- JAGzilla
- Sazer
- Posts: 11887
- Joined: Mon Apr 18, 2011 6:45 pm
- Location: Georgia
Re: Trolling Godzilla Fans
I don't mean to drag the thread off-topic, but this is actually true... from a certain point of view. Zarm tried to explain it a while back; I disagreed and didn't understand the point he was trying to make, but eventually I got it. Setting aside the inherent problems with giant monsters and beam weapons existing to begin with, it makes sense for said monsters to actually use those weapons if they have them. Real animals, humans included, fight to win. If you're in a life-or-death struggle with someone, you aren't going to keep your gun holstered and go hand-to-hand with them first, you're going to go with the option that makes your victory and survival most likely. A spitting cobra or an electric eel don't risk trying to bite a predator before pulling out their weapon, they just shoot to kill right off the bat. The same logic should apply to kaiju: Godzilla won't waste his time and take chances by grappling with Destoroyah when he can just bust out the atomic ray and (theoretically) get the fight over with.VoyagerGoji wrote: +Beam Fights are much more realistic than Kung-fu.
...but that style of fighting still isn't very fun to watch.
"Stop wars and no more accidents. I guess that's all I can ask." -Akio
- LSD Jellyfish
- Administrator
- Posts: 14538
- Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2015 11:57 pm
Re: Trolling Godzilla Fans
Completely unrelated, but what happened to Zarm? He still around?JAGzilla wrote:I don't mean to drag the thread off-topic, but this is actually true... from a certain point of view. Zarm tried to explain it a while back; I disagreed and didn't understand the point he was trying to make, but eventually I got it. Setting aside the inherent problems with giant monsters and beam weapons existing to begin with, it makes sense for said monsters to actually use those weapons if they have them. Real animals, humans included, fight to win. If you're in a life-or-death struggle with someone, you aren't going to keep your gun holstered and go hand-to-hand with them first, you're going to go with the option that makes your victory and survival most likely. A spitting cobra or an electric eel don't risk trying to bite a predator before pulling out their weapon, they just shoot to kill right off the bat. The same logic should apply to kaiju: Godzilla won't waste his time and take chances by grappling with Destoroyah when he can just bust out the atomic ray and (theoretically) get the fight over with.VoyagerGoji wrote: +Beam Fights are much more realistic than Kung-fu.
...but that style of fighting still isn't very fun to watch.
- Gigantis
- Sazer
- Posts: 10546
- Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2018 12:52 pm
- Location: Nebula of the Orion
Re: Trolling Godzilla Fans
Could've sworn i saw him post just last month.LSD Jellyfish wrote:Completely unrelated, but what happened to Zarm? He still around?
A guy who randomly stumbled upon this place one day, invested much too much time into it, and now appears to be stuck here for all eternity..and strangely enough, i do not regret it!
- JAGzilla
- Sazer
- Posts: 11887
- Joined: Mon Apr 18, 2011 6:45 pm
- Location: Georgia
Re: Trolling Godzilla Fans
Yeah, he still shows up from time to time. He just posted in the Star Wars thread about a week ago. I would imagine he's not on here as often anymore due to lack of free time (he has at least three kids) and also there just hasn't been much to talk about, lately.LSD Jellyfish wrote: Completely unrelated, but what happened to Zarm? He still around?
"Stop wars and no more accidents. I guess that's all I can ask." -Akio
- Terasawa
- Xilien Halfling
- Posts: 5841
- Joined: Tue Jun 07, 2011 10:06 am
Re: Trolling Godzilla Fans
That's if you don't consider the amount of energy it probably takes to use a nuclear breath attack or whatever. A gun isn't a good example because it requires minimal energy for you or I to use.JAGzilla wrote:I don't mean to drag the thread off-topic, but this is actually true... from a certain point of view. Zarm tried to explain it a while back; I disagreed and didn't understand the point he was trying to make, but eventually I got it. Setting aside the inherent problems with giant monsters and beam weapons existing to begin with, it makes sense for said monsters to actually use those weapons if they have them. Real animals, humans included, fight to win. If you're in a life-or-death struggle with someone, you aren't going to keep your gun holstered and go hand-to-hand with them first, you're going to go with the option that makes your victory and survival most likely. A spitting cobra or an electric eel don't risk trying to bite a predator before pulling out their weapon, they just shoot to kill right off the bat. The same logic should apply to kaiju: Godzilla won't waste his time and take chances by grappling with Destoroyah when he can just bust out the atomic ray and (theoretically) get the fight over with.VoyagerGoji wrote: +Beam Fights are much more realistic than Kung-fu.
...but that style of fighting still isn't very fun to watch.
Cinematically speaking, I'd rather watch the Godzilla vs. Megalon battle than the one in Godzilla vs. Destoroyah. That's nothing to do with "kung fu" > beam weapons -- the Megalon fight is simply more visually interesting, fast paced, and entertaining. The Destoroyah battle is sluggish and drawn out. The brief foray into hand-to-hand combat is shockingly inept, and for the most part the battle is very flatly shot.
寺沢. He/him/his, etc.
- A list of known Toho export dubs (a colossal, perpetual work in progress)
- Kaiju and Tokusatsu Movies on The Sci-Fi Channel (1992 - 2010)
- G2000
- Xilien Halfling
- Posts: 5463
- Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2012 6:34 pm
Re: Trolling Godzilla Fans
Maybe ten years ago but as of late I'd say this opinion has become increasingly popularKaltes-Herzeleid wrote:+say Miki Saeguesa is a boring and at worst, irritating "character."
gerdzerl wrote:DONT STOP G2000 YOU SEXY BEAST