Trolling Godzilla Fans

[Dawsbfiremind]

Yonggary is the true King of the Monsters and would kick that poser Godzilla's ass.

And Legendary had to go with a Godzilla vs Kong movie when we could've had something infinitely better: Yonggary vs Pulgasari.

[PitchBlackProgress]

Let’s stop bringing up Yonggary, everyone knows a reboot would fail ‘less the final scene consisted of Yonggary’s anal hemorrhage…

[GojiDude95]

What was that last part?

[PitchBlackProgress]

What was that last part?

The original Yonngary ends with the monster bleeding out its ass after it’s killed.
Like, he dies, voids his bowels, and it’s nothing but blood.

[Dv-218]

Yonggary is the true King of the Monsters and would kick that poser Godzilla's ass.

And Legendary had to go with a Godzilla vs Kong movie when we could've had something infinitely better: Yonggary vs Pulgasari.

Nah, Yonggary vs A.P.E or bust

[GojiDude95]

What was that last part?

The original Yonngary ends with the monster bleeding out its ass after it’s killed.
Like, he dies, voids his bowls, and it’s nothing but blood.

Oh My
They took the phrase "shit happens" to a whole other level!!

[Saltmons]

Ultraman - All that's left when you realize Godzilla is terrible
Ultraman is a low-budget parody of the Godzilla series owned and created by Sompote Sands after the smashing success of Godzilla vs Megalon. Ultraman is based on Jet Jaguar but without any of the Jack Nicholson charm. To save what little budget he had, Sompote created Ultraman with a three minute time limit for battle, meaning that, just like with any Godzilla movie, you can just fast-forward to the end, because everything else is trash.

Guide to the monsters
Gomora - Based on Gamera, the flying turtle, this kaiju is boring and has no beams. However, his HEISEI series incarnation features a OHKO move that's perfect for fantasy matches, so you should always pick him as your starter Pokemon.
Redkong - To get around copyright issues, Sompote created his own corn-based version of King Kong. Garth Edmunds based his design for Godzilla 2012 on this monster.
Kamen Rider - Ultraman's nemesis, this bicycle-riding Social Justice Warrior is based on the popular American series Power Rangers.
JirASS - Godzilla with foreskin. Times were tough in Japan.

Tips
+ Nobody cares about Ultraman. Just plug in a good ol' Heisei Godziller and zoom to the fight!

Probably a necrobump, but you forgot how Ultraman's time limit causes him to instantly lose any and all fantasy matches.

[edgaguirus]

No mention of Baltan?

[Kaiju-Killer 751]

I'm a little late to the party, but screw it, Imma put in some posts and see if I can get anything in-Might as well make some jabs at one of my own favorite monsters too and its more extreme side of its fandom.

How to be a Rabid Tristar Godzilla/GINO/Zilla Fanboy
-Talk about how realistic Zilla is and why he is the best and true Godzilla (possibly next to Godzilla 2014). Bonus points if you bring up how the Japanese Godzilla would lose in a fight.
-String together and form a fan theory about how Godzilla was ACTUALLY made by America first, which you back up with loose and idiotic ideas that because other giant reptilian monsters were made by America BEFORE Godzilla, this is true. (ie The Arctic Giant, Rhedosaurus)
-Create as much Edgy Art as possible showing off raptorization at its finest, wasting what talent you may actually have with crappy and often racist drawings.
-Rant and scream like a child about why everyone hating Zilla are just dumb trolls, ignoring any and all valid points they may actually have about why they just don't like the character.
-Refuse to acknowledge the name change, and even when presented with evidence about what actually happened insist on calling them one thing or another (admittedly this can be a bit of a headache sometimes but still).

How to Troll a Rabid Tristar Fanboy (note; Disliking Zilla is one thing, and trolling an elitist TriStar prick is another thing, but this stuff can make it go from dislike to hate-boner levels if it's believed unironically and to an extreme-then again, everyone is entitled to their own opinion)
-Make entire threads based on bashing the character
-Make videos of Zilla getting his/her/its tail kicked by every possible monster (remakes of Godzilla curbstomping him are good, but making MINYA murder the shit out of Zilla is bound to make people get frothing at the mouth).
-Calling Zilla a 'she'-Illogical Biology aside, Word of God is a tricky business and discussing things like calling it a she can make people feel their 'All American and Athletic King' is being insulted.
-Continually make reference on how Zilla got the poop kicked out of him in Final Wars.
-Make threads or videos about how horrible Godzilla The Series is/was, bonus points if you have 'Zilla Jr' killed off effortlessly.

(Here's hoping I don't sound like a raging Zilla fanboy)

[edgaguirus]

No, you don't.

[Voyager]

Looking through old threads and I just saw this one and it clicked.

Heisei Fan Boys

These buggers are everywhere in the fandom apart from TK. I’ll give you a guide on how to be like them and how to troll them.

How to be like them
+Beam Fights are much more realistic than Kung-fu.
+Bagan is the most badass monster ever!
+Destoroyah is the devil!
+Tsuburaya was a novice. Kawakita was far better.
+The big 5 are better in the Heisei series.
+It’s dark and serious. Not that campy bullshit.

How to piss them off
+Godzilla, Mechagodzilla, SpaceGodzilla and Destoroyah have OBESITY.
+The effects have dated terribly.
+Godzilla vs Biollante was the only good one.
+SpaceG is a pedophile.
+Bagan is a generic, pile of steaming shit.
+The monsters are lifeless props.
+ “bAtTrA IS moThrA bUt bLacK!”
+Just say something negative about Godzilla vs Destoroyah. They’ll go on a crusade.

[Kaltes-Herzeleid]

+point out that the Heisei Gamera trilogy brutally mogs every Godzilla movie of the same time period and then some. Enjoy the ensuing reeeeeeeeing about how "GAMERA WILL NEVER BE BETTER THAN GODZILLA!!!!"
+say Miki Saeguesa is a boring and at worst, irritating "character."

[_JNavs_]

Just tell Showa fans their films are surface level rompstomps with no grander idea than to make some money back.

[Tyrant_Lizard_King]

Isn't that 99% of all Godzilla movies?

[JAGzilla]

+Beam Fights are much more realistic than Kung-fu.

I don't mean to drag the thread off-topic, but this is actually true... from a certain point of view. Zarm tried to explain it a while back; I disagreed and didn't understand the point he was trying to make, but eventually I got it. Setting aside the inherent problems with giant monsters and beam weapons existing to begin with, it makes sense for said monsters to actually use those weapons if they have them. Real animals, humans included, fight to win. If you're in a life-or-death struggle with someone, you aren't going to keep your gun holstered and go hand-to-hand with them first, you're going to go with the option that makes your victory and survival most likely. A spitting cobra or an electric eel don't risk trying to bite a predator before pulling out their weapon, they just shoot to kill right off the bat. The same logic should apply to kaiju: Godzilla won't waste his time and take chances by grappling with Destoroyah when he can just bust out the atomic ray and (theoretically) get the fight over with.

...but that style of fighting still isn't very fun to watch.

[LSD Jellyfish]

+Beam Fights are much more realistic than Kung-fu.

I don't mean to drag the thread off-topic, but this is actually true... from a certain point of view. Zarm tried to explain it a while back; I disagreed and didn't understand the point he was trying to make, but eventually I got it. Setting aside the inherent problems with giant monsters and beam weapons existing to begin with, it makes sense for said monsters to actually use those weapons if they have them. Real animals, humans included, fight to win. If you're in a life-or-death struggle with someone, you aren't going to keep your gun holstered and go hand-to-hand with them first, you're going to go with the option that makes your victory and survival most likely. A spitting cobra or an electric eel don't risk trying to bite a predator before pulling out their weapon, they just shoot to kill right off the bat. The same logic should apply to kaiju: Godzilla won't waste his time and take chances by grappling with Destoroyah when he can just bust out the atomic ray and (theoretically) get the fight over with.

...but that style of fighting still isn't very fun to watch.

Completely unrelated, but what happened to Zarm? He still around?

[Gigantis]

Completely unrelated, but what happened to Zarm? He still around?

Could've sworn i saw him post just last month.

[JAGzilla]

Completely unrelated, but what happened to Zarm? He still around?

Yeah, he still shows up from time to time. He just posted in the Star Wars thread about a week ago. I would imagine he's not on here as often anymore due to lack of free time (he has at least three kids) and also there just hasn't been much to talk about, lately.

[Terasawa]

+Beam Fights are much more realistic than Kung-fu.

I don't mean to drag the thread off-topic, but this is actually true... from a certain point of view. Zarm tried to explain it a while back; I disagreed and didn't understand the point he was trying to make, but eventually I got it. Setting aside the inherent problems with giant monsters and beam weapons existing to begin with, it makes sense for said monsters to actually use those weapons if they have them. Real animals, humans included, fight to win. If you're in a life-or-death struggle with someone, you aren't going to keep your gun holstered and go hand-to-hand with them first, you're going to go with the option that makes your victory and survival most likely. A spitting cobra or an electric eel don't risk trying to bite a predator before pulling out their weapon, they just shoot to kill right off the bat. The same logic should apply to kaiju: Godzilla won't waste his time and take chances by grappling with Destoroyah when he can just bust out the atomic ray and (theoretically) get the fight over with.

...but that style of fighting still isn't very fun to watch.

That's if you don't consider the amount of energy it probably takes to use a nuclear breath attack or whatever. A gun isn't a good example because it requires minimal energy for you or I to use.

Cinematically speaking, I'd rather watch the Godzilla vs. Megalon battle than the one in Godzilla vs. Destoroyah. That's nothing to do with "kung fu" > beam weapons -- the Megalon fight is simply more visually interesting, fast paced, and entertaining. The Destoroyah battle is sluggish and drawn out. The brief foray into hand-to-hand combat is shockingly inept, and for the most part the battle is very flatly shot.

[G2000]

+say Miki Saeguesa is a boring and at worst, irritating "character."

Maybe ten years ago but as of late I'd say this opinion has become increasingly popular